aggravating | 15th Command; text

15th Command; text

[So just a short while after this starts happening, a nice text message is being posted to the network.]

COME ONE, COME ALL
TO THE FIGHT OF THE CENTURY

Have you ever wondered what an actual red-blooded American Hero duking it out with a little more red-blooded Russian superspy would look like?

Have you ever wanted to just sit and watch as (this one's for you, ladies) one ridiculously muscled, eagle calling Adonis trades blows with a curvy, well-endowed, red-headed killing machine? Blows that might end up with one or both parties pinned and sweaty to the mat?

Then look no further, because this is a show that's currently happening in the gym. Unfortunately, you snooze you lose. So if you want in? Better come prepared with some sort of ticket trade-in. Energy drinks and random pieces of metal might land you up in the front rows. Sneak me some booze and you'll end up so close you're practically getting punched in the face.

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Didn't you see Rocky Four? [UNIMPRESSED this has been done.] Show me a new trick and I'll start the bets, but otherwise you can keep the little show in the small gym.

Unfortunately, yeah. I have. [Oh, he's amused.]

You're new here, aren't you? Because seriously, Captain America and-- [Shit maybe he shouldn't say Natasha's name... ah well, whatever. She's had her cover long enough. Or something. And he can't remember which fake name she's going by.] --Natasha Romanoff going at it on a gym mat? Something you're gonna want popcorn for.

New to the ship, but this kind of thing? I'm from Gotham, if I wanted to see someone throw their big strong male ego at a woman all I had to do was leave my door unlocked.

[Still...she does like seeing women stand up for themselves. And if this Captain America asshole gets out of hand, Selina is sure she'd have fun leaping in and clawing his eyes out. Literally.]

Does this fight need a referee, or should I just bribe you for a front row seat and a beer?

[Okay, that has Tony arching up an eyebrow and... kind of sobering.]

Let me guess, not too fond of the other side of the gender spectrum. [He shrugs a shoulder] Bribe away, but try and ref their fight and Natasha will probably snap your neck. She doesn't exactly take well to being treated like a delicate flower. [The corner of his lips twitch up] I only hired her way back when after she took down my body guard in a boxing match.

[Not to mention Steve's so much of a boyscout he'd probably cry if he knew someone thought he was taking advantage of Natasha by sparring with her.]

I like men fine. It's the shrinking violets and megalomaniacs I don't seem to get along with. [She smiles slowly, happy to have stomped on what was shaping up to be a favorable opinion of her.]

But since you don't have either of those in the match, I'll put my money on the bodyguard crusher. Or whatever passes for currency here--cigarettes? I liberated a bottle of something or other.

I'll keep that in mind. [His own smile is almost matching hers, slow and almost venomously sweet. He'd missed things like this, actually. The rare chance to talk to someone who was intent to get a rise out of him, to push buttons like he always did. And that might not be Selina's actual goal right now, but there was just an air about her that was so reminiscent of all those girls they sent from the news, the magazines, meant to get under his skin and get him to slip up.

God, he actually, honestly misses that.]

I'll take the bottle, thanks. And yeah, much as Steve's a trained soldier or whatever? Safe bet's with Natasha.

[There are a lot of arrogant pricks in Gotham. Bruce Wayne isn't actually one of them; he's humble and awkward more than anything. But there's a basic strength to Tony that reminds her of him. It's like if Bruce had grown up in a nice, posh neighborhood in a safer city. And let's be real. There is no one she likes taking down more than the rich, strong ones.]

Nah-ah. You poor thing, you don't get my bottle until you win. And since I'm betting on the girl who would snap my neck for trying to help her, I think you're going to have a dry week.

[Tony quirks an eyebrow at that response, lips curling into a smile that's really more pissed than anything else. Right on the edge of welcoming and, well, decidedly not.]

Yeah, unfortunately? I'm a genius. Not gonna take a bet that'll just leave me in debt. [Sorry Cap, he's pretty sure Natasha could kill you with her pinky. He's not betting against her. Still, he tries to take the edge off his grin, to make it flirtatious instead of a hair's breadth from challenging.] I'll still let you have a front row seat, how about that?

[Oh she likes that look. there's nothing more fun than making a genius rich man want to throttle you.]

You bring the glasses and we'll call it a truce.

[Drinking is just a sore subject once it goes past awkward jokes, really. But hey, glad Selina can get some amusement from it. Still, he manages to keep that grin in place.]

Square deal.

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