18th Command; video

[aggravating]

[Hi barge, someone looks grumpy today. Probably has to do with the fact that he's apparently been asleep for over two weeks.]

For the record? I'm blaming space. And the fact that we're in a ship that doesn't work by any version of logic piloted by a guy who, let's face it, doesn't actually know how to sail a multidimensional spaceship. You could put a monkey in a hat and he'd be a better Admiral than this guy. Because. Uh. Comas don't just happen out of the blue, and who knows what kind of alien radiation we're all getting hit with. [... Yeah he's just really annoyed about this.

Still, he's just kind of rubbing a hand against his temple and the side of his head for a second, brow furrowed, before gesturing vaguely at the communicator.] So what have I missed, who's gone and who's new and how many crash landings did I sleep through?

[Private to the Assvengers]

Apparently comas contagious, so prolonged exposure to Captain Beauty Sleep should be monitored. [Tony speak for "Hey guys I'm back you totally missed me don't even lie."] Who's killed who and tell me no one touched the helmet.

[Private to Charles]

I want to start a barge robotics club. [Hi, sorry for worrying you, still alive, hope you didn't do anything weird with my body in the meantime. Not that I'd blame you because uh, perfect male specimen right here.]

Comments

[ so motherfucking private ]

[aggravating]

[..... Oh. So this. Is a real thing. Not just some strange jab in response to his own. Huh.

He's just going to put the whole murder thing aside for a minute because hold on.]

Okay, so. Wait. I missed a haunted hotel trying to eat people?

[private]

[lastincident]

In sum up: yes, that's exactly what you missed.

[private]

[aggravating]

Right. [Well then.] Sounds like a party.

Was it more Stephen King or the floor opening up and actually munching?

[private]

[lastincident]

More Stephen King, less ...what you just suggested. I didn't-- exactly stick around to see, though. All that stress, I--well, I suppose going a few months on the barge without incident was pretty good, considering the stress levels.