1st Command; Video

[aggravating]

[This is so not his idea of a vacation, guys. You have no idea. But at the very least, the man peering at the screen isn't flipping out or anything. In fact, he just seems to have a sort of cool and composed air to him. If, you know, he was anything other than pissed right now.]

Okay, yeah. Fun times. Sitting on a boat in the middle of space while the world is, literally, going to hell back home without me, all because this is supposed to part of some self-awareness spiritual journey crap?

[He's been doing his homework]

Right, uh. Someone point me to the fun part of this ship, because I'm not buying into this prisoner shtick right now. Oh, and. Give me that phone call home, boss. I need to sick my lawyers on all of your asses.

Because you kind of took my property. And my AI. And my ride home.

[He makes a frustrated sound in the back of his throat, looking around before reaching down, pulling a pair of sunglasses from his pocket, ignoring the slightly bent out of shape frames - he'd kind of fallen on them more than a few times - and slipping them right up to rest on the bridge of his nose]

For anyone stupid enough to not know who I am, I'm Tony Stark. Iron Man. And the first person who asks for an autograph is getting thrown overboard.

Comments

[aggravating]

You're not seriously asking me if gardening counts as a hobby, are you?

I mean, sure, if you want to spend the rest of your life going to garden parties and chatting up little old ladies about the lifespan of ferns, go right ahead. No judgement or anything.

[trenchcoatedly]

Ferns will most likely outlive humanity by hundreds of thousands of years, if not more.

Additionally, natural remedies were and continue to be cures for almost all human illnesses with significantly less cost and work than synthetic cures. I don't understand why this is something to sound to be devaluing.

[aggravating]

... Because you're apparently spending your free time digging in the dirt when you could-

You know what. Cards. Find me a deck of cards.

I'm teaching you to play poker, Rainman.

[trenchcoatedly]

My name is Castiel.

I know how to play poker.

[aggravating]

Really? Awesome. That just means I can skip that step.

Pool? Twister? Beer pong?

[trenchcoatedly]

I know how to play pool. I don't know how to play Twister or beer pong.

[aggravating]

Yeah. Beer pong is kind of a must.

As soon as I figure out the secret to getting alcohol, we're having that fun lesson.

[trenchcoatedly]

Only wardens are permitted free access to alcohol.

I appreciate your offer, but I'd prefer to abstain.

[aggravating]

What is it, a key card lock?

I can get through those in my sleep.

[trenchcoatedly]

The locks are magical in nature, and keyed to specific and assigned items held by wardens.

[aggravating]

....... Items like?

[Why no, he totally wouldn't try to steal something to get booze, what are you talking about?

Thank god Kirk's letting him in for now]

[trenchcoatedly]

Each is selected by the warden in question.

[aggravating]

You're not gonna throw me a bone here, are you?

[trenchcoatedly]

I don't understand how that isn't a valid answer to your question or what bones have to do with it. Each warden selects their own item; mine is a bible.

[aggravating]

Now that's a bone!

[Tony Stark does not know the meaning of sneaky]

So what, you guys get magical key card passes with things that... are near and dear to you?

tony you are a confounding human being.

[trenchcoatedly]

N..o. That's an answer. Again, I don't know what bones have to do with it.

I suppose that's right.

Isn't he just~? C:

[aggravating]

They're treats. You know, like what you throw to dogs? Just don't choke. Not sure where bible-thumpers go now-a-days.

Awesome. I'll keep that in mind.