7th Command; Video - backdated to the 3rd 'cause I suck

[aggravating]

[Filtered FROM Captain America; aka to everyone else on the barge]

Okay, tomorrow's the Fourth. Which means Independence Day for those of us from America.

I'm putting out a casting call, kind of. Basically, any chicks that know how to sing and dance? Kind of need you to raise your hands.

Before you ask, it's for a wholesome 40's kind of thing. Not my style, but I have my reasons for it.


[Private to Natasha]
Star Spangled Man, Steve's birthday. You're my wingman on this. [AKA: You have no choice.]

[Private to Loki]
Hey, Rock of Ages, your Shakespeare roots don't have tailoring in them, do they?

[Private to Peggy]
You say anything to Cap, you'll have made a really annoying enemy.

[Private to Dean]
Hey, you wouldn't happen to have found a song anywhere called The Star Spangled Man? Kind of a 40's showtune feel?

[Private to B]
Dancing for me, gorgeous? [He knows not when to quit]

[Private to Charles]
Please tell me there's some sort of update on my goddamn helmet. [He just wants some good news right now :C]

[Private to Steve]
Why're you here anyway, Cap?

Comments

[sharpememory]

Singing and dancing like in a musical?

[aggravating]

[... It's you. He's snapping his fingers and pointing at the screen, grinning almost... evily]

Uh, hey. Mysterio, right?

[He's an ass.]

Not exactly. Ever see World War II USO reels? Dancing girls selling war bonds? [p a u s e] Assuming World War II was a thing where you're from.

[sharpememory]

Oh, man. Don't even talk to me about that. It's so embarrassing.

Yeah, we had that. I remember a lot of girls in lacy gloves and stuff like that.

[aggravating]

Yeah, sorry. Never get a second chance at a first impression.

[He's grinning, though]

Right. He's from right in the middle of that. Even had a tour.

[sharpememory]

Yeah, I've been busy with stuff lately.

Wow. That's pretty cool.

[aggravating]

Either pretty cool, or pretty crappy.

He never got to experience when hot pants were a thing.

[sharpememory]

A bit of both, probably.

That's kind of tragic, to be entirely honest.

[aggravating]

I'm actually kind of dreading explaining hippies. Pretty sure I'm just going to claim a black out in history between the sixties and eighties.

[sharpememory]

Dude, just jump back in during the 90s. They're hard enough to explain.

[aggravating]

'95 sound good? I'll give some crap about a new law banning anything between '62 and then.

[Come on, bro, join Tony in censoring history.]

[sharpememory]

Oh, man. Do it. You'll miss most of the shitty worker legislation.

[Pause.] Although you probably don't have that, I guess.

[aggravating]

[He shrugs, not really that phased]

We might. Legislation passes, things happen, I usually don't pay attention and just let my lawyers handle it. We have loopholes so our people can work how I want them to.

Which usually involves being able to be dragged away from work at any time to accompany me to random locations. Including Venice. And Monaco.

[He is the best/worst boss]

[sharpememory]

Wait, so you're saying that you just let workers work people to do whatever you want? That's a bit fucked up.

[aggravating]

Yeah, see, it would be if I wasn't kind of the coolest boss in the world?

Pepper does most of the worker rules, but I have mandatory beer pong contests with the hard labor people, and otherwise interns get practice sessions staging corporate take-overs of Starbucks.

None of which have been successful yet, but I'm getting there. [He shrugs] We have the highest employee satisfaction rates in America, and I'm still pretty sure we're only beat out by a few self-employed kitting moguls over in Shanghai.

[sharpememory]

[The longest pause.] Okay, you mean workers who do jobs and not workers who use work people? Like using magic?

[aggravating]

[There's a pretty equally long one on Tony's end]

Your world sounds like crap.

Yeah, I mean workers. Like, employees. Interns and factory workers and secretaries. Not... magic cave diggers.

[sharpememory]

It's only crap if you get caught. [Barron sounds more amused than anything, though.]

And the government hasn't gotten around to locking us in camps to dig caves or whatever yet, not that they aren't trying.