9th Command; Voice - backdated to Thursday the 12th

[aggravating]

[Compared to his last little blow-up to the network? Today's message is nice and short and sweet and to the point. Well, as to-the-point as Tony Stark can ever be.]

Are there any teleportation pads on this space-tionwagon or am I just missing something here?

Why the hell do we have simulated environments, dimensional jumps, and aliens that would make George Lucas wet himself... but we don't have floor to floor transportation pads?

And for the record, everything I've ever said about stairs I am redacting and revising. They suck.

[Filtered to Maintenance/The labs]
Who wants to be my babysitter or just let me in to do my thing? I need to outfit a wheelchair with a jet-pack in the next two hours or else I cannot and will not be held responsible for whatever homicidal, frustration-based rage I go into.

[Spam For the Deck]
[Because every new invention needs a road test, right? And Tony is kind of known for his need for speed.

So uh, if you ever wanted to see one Tony Stark zoom past you in a repulsor powered wheelchair? This would kind of be your chance.]

Comments

[bob_fraser_rcmp]

There's this marvellous device called an elevator, son.

Voice --> Video

[insolubleriddle]

Echoing Sir Fraser, there's an elevator. You'll find an entrance on each floor, fairly noticeable unless you're a hermit or debilitatingly unobservant.

[Riddler turns on the video feed, and he's merrily floating along, several feet in the air.]

It's unremarkable and passe, for a spaceship, so I'll grant you a one-way trip for experimental purposes.

[omar]

You know there a-- oh, you do now.

[Filter]

[inhistorybooks]

I'll meet you up in front of the lab. If you need an extra hand, I'd be happy to help out. [Trip is bored as fuck. :|]

[timesbureaucrat]

I assume the Admiral is obsessed with Earth retro. It would explain why, of all the options, the Barge is designed to look roughly similar to an old fashioned Earth cruise ship and why a large percentage of the ports are some version or another of 21st century Earth.

[Other people have already mentioned the lifts, so Narvin won't go there. Besides, he rather agrees with Tony that lifts are pitifully primitive technology compared to what they could have as a non-stair option if the Admiral had wanted.]

[aggravating]

[Really? Really?]

Wow, honestly? I've never even heard of those.

[The sarcasm in his words is almost a physical construct.]

[Spam]

[persuadeyou]

[Natasha has been mercifully unaffected, but she's been watching and she thinks she's got an idea of what's happening.

But, you know. How pissed are you still, Tony. :\ Instead of answering on the network, she goes a-looking, and oh hey. That's a flying wheelchair.

She's pretty glad she wore jeans today, too, because when he flies past a few seconds after she steps out on the deck, she is hitting the ground and rolling because THAT IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN STRANGE THINGS FLY PAST.]

You work fast. [Not that she didn't know this.]

Voice

[aggravating]

Yeah, anything that doesn't provide near-instant transportation kind of doesn't really register with me.

[Guys are you really being serious right now how could anyone actually miss the elevators that wasn't the point of-- oh forget it.

This is a ship of morons.]

.... Are you flying? [... God he misses flying]

[aggravating]

No, it completely escaped my notice.

[AGH WHY IS THIS SHIP SO STUPID.]

[spam]

[scarlet_discord]

[Wanda stood at the railing watching the various probabilities roll past, motionless as a statue. When he zoomed by her coat lifted slightly and she turned to watch him briefly, but her expression was cold and nearly blank. The huge, shaggy black dog with her, though, barked joyously and started wagging. Zoomy stuff! Play?]

Voice

[insolubleriddle]

I can relate, having trained my peripheral vision to exclusively register magnificence.

[Why yes, he is flying, and he's doing it without falling down this time.]

And I sure hope so, or I really shouldn't have offered myself as a means of transport. Isn't this sort of thing normal for your lot...?

[I mean, you've got Gods. This can't be that surprising.]

[Filter]

[aggravating]

Sweet. [And he means it. This would all be just so much easier if he could fly this stupid thing instead of having to wheel it around everywhere. It's ridiculous.] Give me a few minutes and I'll be there.

[There's a quick pause, because normally? He'd refuse the help. Laugh it off and proclaim his own genius. But uh.

He might need some help reaching and maneuvering while like this]

Yeah, sure, why not. Might need a spotter.

[aggravating]

[Finally someone not just assuming he doesn't know what elevators are.]

My alma mater, century wise. Which is awesome if you're like Rogers and trying to adjust to a wild and crazy future as well as suddenly being on a space ship but uh. My bathroom is more high tech than some of this place, and I'm from 2010.

[omar]

You asking about stairs, man, don't blame us when we tells you what to do 'bout 'em.

[Spam]

[aggravating]

[Well goody for you, Nat. Because Tony's been having a crappy time since that whole blow-up, despite the whole fact that he's flying around and being reckless right now.

But he does notice the flash of red out of the corner of his eye, and it has him pausing, hitting a sequence of keys on the brand new control pad and coming to a stop in mid-air, repulsors dying down and letting him land on the ground, wheels folding back out.

The look he's giving Natasha, though? Well. She should be glad he didn't get the time to put weapons on the thing]

Kind of my claim to fame. [.......] What the hell do you want?

[Yup, still pissed.]

[aggravating]

Comes with being the most kickass people around, right?

[Dude, he already likes your style]

Not gonna be carried around like a romcom princess, thanks. [He does sound amused, though] Not so much for me, I haven't met the really freaky ones yet.

[Timelines suck.]

[aggravating]

I was complaining about stairs and asking about teleportation.

And by the way, elevators? Not the best form of transportation. Don't believe everything people tell you.

[... Yeah, okay, he really just thinks they go too slow]

[omar]

They do well enough by me. [Although it's rare that he's anywhere with an elevator, and even rarer that he actually takes one over the stairs, but that's not so much a technological issue and more a 'not being trapped in a tiny room by enemies with guns' issue.]

[insolubleriddle]

Circles among squares. It makes finding allies a pain.

[A mutual appreciation born of egoism.]

The paparazzi isn't around to take notice, but I'll relent. I'd only end up frustrating you more than the stairs.

As for the freaky ones-- Loki doesn't count?

[timesbureaucrat]

Not my favourite Earth era, I'm afraid. [Although it's been growing on him.]

On Gallifrey we have transmats, although we only use them for long distances. Within the Capitol, stairs are the norm. [Fancy alien robes swish so nicely and dignified on stairs. And Time Lords are rarely in a hurry.]

[thestarspangledman]

[Here, Tony, have an affected Steve who is, yes, ducking and rolling at that wheelchair, and his shield would be up if he had it.]

What the hell? You gone crazier than usual, Stark?

[aggravating]

[Which he's actually seriously thankful for, considering getting hit out of the sky would probably just put him in an even worse mood.

There's a full fifteen seconds where he just kind of comes to a stop and stares at Steve, as if trying to figure out if it's worth trying to charge and hit him again or not.

In the end, he's just leaning forward on his knees, narrowing his eyes at the Captain.]

Oh yeah, sure, I'm the crazy one. [He rolls his eyes, and hits the control panel, landing himself down on the deck] If you have to know, Rogers, I'm doing performance tests and figuring out the handling on this thing. It's science.

[Because if anyone can snark even while paralyzed in a wheelchair, it's Tony]

[bob_fraser_rcmp]

[Bob is immune to sarcasm.] When you have a means for getting from a to be in relative safety, vaporising yourself and reconstituting yourself on a ship that frequently changes its very nature sounds like something a Yank would come up with. [AKA: both stupid and incredibly dangerous.]

[thestarspangledman]

You're the one runnin' around in a goddamn rocket-powered wheelchair.

useless spam

[darknessb4me]

Huh.

[There's a man in a flying metal chair.

At some point in his life he'd probably have given a fuck but the Barge has burnt that out pretty fast.

He takes another sip of coffee and heads back downstairs.]