9th Command; Voice - backdated to Thursday the 12th

[aggravating]

[Compared to his last little blow-up to the network? Today's message is nice and short and sweet and to the point. Well, as to-the-point as Tony Stark can ever be.]

Are there any teleportation pads on this space-tionwagon or am I just missing something here?

Why the hell do we have simulated environments, dimensional jumps, and aliens that would make George Lucas wet himself... but we don't have floor to floor transportation pads?

And for the record, everything I've ever said about stairs I am redacting and revising. They suck.

[Filtered to Maintenance/The labs]
Who wants to be my babysitter or just let me in to do my thing? I need to outfit a wheelchair with a jet-pack in the next two hours or else I cannot and will not be held responsible for whatever homicidal, frustration-based rage I go into.

[Spam For the Deck]
[Because every new invention needs a road test, right? And Tony is kind of known for his need for speed.

So uh, if you ever wanted to see one Tony Stark zoom past you in a repulsor powered wheelchair? This would kind of be your chance.]

Comments

[omar]

You asking about stairs, man, don't blame us when we tells you what to do 'bout 'em.

[aggravating]

I was complaining about stairs and asking about teleportation.

And by the way, elevators? Not the best form of transportation. Don't believe everything people tell you.

[... Yeah, okay, he really just thinks they go too slow]

[omar]

They do well enough by me. [Although it's rare that he's anywhere with an elevator, and even rarer that he actually takes one over the stairs, but that's not so much a technological issue and more a 'not being trapped in a tiny room by enemies with guns' issue.]

[aggravating]

Yeah, uh, having to push a button and wait for it to get to your floor, and then having to wait again in case some asshole decides to interrupt your trip and get on and off? Or if some other idiot decided to button mash every floor before getting off?

Pretty much the least efficient system I've ever seen.

[His elevators are controlled by his AI. He never has to even push the buttons, back home. The doors just open and he zooms off to where he wants to be. And if JARVIS pushes the lift speed to the limit? Well.

Tony likes to keep moving fast.]

[omar]

I usually takes care of that by not letting them at the buttons.

[aggravating]

I just hack the controls every time I have to use one. But to each their own.