aggravating | 12th Command; Video

[Why hello barge, wasn't that a fun flood? Tony's in bed today, just kind of lounging and leaning against the headboard right now, still a bit battered and bruised, and just staring rather blankly down at the communicator. On second though, he looks rather judging, really, and-

... Well, hold on a second there. Not only does this not look like his room (because honestly, he wouldn't be caught dead living in a place right out of a forties movie) but if you've ever got a message from one Steve Rogers you might notice that this is actually coming from his communicator.]

Steve Rogers' inmate Edward Blake went home. And let me be the first asshole to say thank god.

[And he is so not sorry for that. BUT.]

For those of you with your nose buried in the nonexistent gossip column of this ship, you might have noticed the little lover's spat going on between Cap, Nicole, and I. And for those that care, you'll be happy to know that now that Legolas is back in play, we're all one big happy family again and I am preemptively claiming the first Saturday Night Avengers Orgy for my room.

[Believe it or not, there is a point to this ridiculousness. And it's not just making Clint, Natasha, and Steve all want to kill him. But, he pauses just before ending the feed, grinning wide]

Also, Cap? Think we got our communicators mixed up last night.

[.... Clint, Nat, Steve and Peggy.]

[ooc: written with permission from Mandy!]

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[Now that's interesting. Mal coughs pointedly, looks away, looks back to the camera, keenly interested.] You sure Nicole stands for that kinda thing? You'll be lucky to get away with a black eye talkin' like that. [The way he says her name suggests he knows it's fake just as well as Tony does.]

Don't give a good gorram about the orgy part, but what's "Avengers"? What're y'all avenging?

Actually, pretty sure she'd be honored to be invited to my bed like this. Not every day I have an eye for- [... Wait. Shit. What's Natasha supposed to be?] ... Librarians?

[Close enough.

Also, screw it. He's already messing with people, might as well go one step further. Make the cycle of bullshit complete and all that.]

It's a band. [Ha ha ha ha ha] Yeah, see. We're all a part of this band? The Avengers. Iron Man - me, by the way- Captain America, Hawkeye, Hulk, Thor- kind of our thing. I sing.

Edited 2012-09-03 07:59 (UTC)

[Librarian? He's not sure exactly what Nicole Reese is supposed to do for a living but he's pretty sure it isn't that.] Oh, I'm sure she would. Getting invited to an orgy is every little girl's dream, after all.

[Mal smirks. Tony says he's in a band the same way Mal says Jayne works in public relations. He's got the decency to switch over to private at the last second before asking the question.] An' what's Black Widow do?

You have no idea. Despite appearances I'm actually really picky over who ends up in my bed.

[He's noticed the private filter and- ah. He smirks, just a bit, raising an eyebrow at the slip of Natasha's code name]

Publicist.

Apparently I don't, and I've been deceived by appearances yet again.

[His lie about Natasha is exactly the same as Mal's lie about Jayne. That disturbs him, for some reason.] Play a lot of shows, do you?

[Tony definitely wouldn't know anything about that. He's just literally making this up as he goes.]

A few individual gigs, one big show. We're still getting used to it.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Edited 2012-09-03 15:44 (UTC)

It was either that or a dance group.

[THIS WAS BETTER?]

Not my point of concern. [Oh my God Tony SHE WILL NEVER BE HONORED TO GET AN INVITE TO YOUR BED OKAY.]

Hey, I can still turn it around. We can be a band and be trying out for America's Best Dance Crew.

[You have no idea what you're missing, Nat]

I'm not above breaking your legs.

That... is entirely uncalled for, Agent Romanoff.

Complete show of unnecessary force. Obvious sign of severe mental issues.

What did my legs ever do to you?

[Someone just needs to make him stop. Talking.

It's safer for his health.]

[He's getting a gag for his birthday.]

Tony.

[She waits a beat, makes sure she's got his attention.]

Stop talking.

-actually really nice legs, and did someone kick your puppy when you were little or something similarly as ridiculous and mentally scar-

[Oh, hey, she said his name. He stops, raising his eyebrows, about to answer and-

... Oh screw you Natasha.]

Pass. Silent game's not really my thing.

[WHY DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN OH MY GOD TONY. She is fighting the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose.] I don't play games.

And that is, like, ninety percent of your issue right there.

[NO SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO HIS WISDOM]

I'm making a note of- JARVIS, make a note. Avengers game nights, when the tower's repaired. Required Attendee: Natasha Romanoff.

Noted, sir. And might I suggest LIFE for the first meeting?

[.... God Tony loves his AI with a force you can't even understand, Natasha.

... Even if it means he has to carry his helmet everywhere. Small sacrifices.]

[She hates JARVIS. Like. Could actively hate him. Instead she is rolling her eyes and killing the feed.

That's right, Tony Stark. She just hung up on you.

Enjoy it.]

[Oh he will.]

.....A band?

How's your guitar solo coming, Cap?

[Yeah he has no idea]

I don't think I've ever picked up a guitar in my life.

You are seriously ruining my story here.

[Suuuuuch a spoil sport, Spangles. Learn to play along B| ]

[Sorry, nope, he's just laughing at you, Tony.]

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