16th Command; video

[aggravating]

[The video clicks on to Tony looking harried and, well, sleep deprived in the lab he's been given access to. He should probably be sleeping, considering he should really be off his leg still and it's like, ass o'clock, but who's keeping track, right?

Also, he might just be waving at the camera with the skeleton of what seems to be a robotic arm.]

So, I have things. And I've kind of forgotten who they're for. Well, okay, no. This- [Have some robotic skeleton fingers wiggling] -is the only one I'm still not sure on, so if you're missing an arm and looking to gain one of the metal, not-so-organic kind, hi. Tony Stark. I'll be your creepy prosthetic tailor for the duration of your stay here. Tips appreciated.

That said, anyone want anything robotic improved, I'm looking for projects that hopefully won't end up in a miniature robot invasion this time around. So if you want an alarm clock that doubles as a taser, toaster, microwave, and guard dog, you're listening to the right broadcast.

[Thaaaaat being said, he has a few private call-outs to make, so. Bye, barge.]

[Private to Dean]
I have a present for you. [And no, unfortunately, it isn't an automatic toilet cleaner.]

[Private to Natasha]
I have a few things. Also, you owe me Russian lessons. [And if his tone is a little less asshole-ish than the rest of his broadcast it's completely just part of her imagination.]

[Private to Duo]
So, that robot pet thing. I have it. Pretty much bulletproof and self-repairing. To a point. Sophisticated, kinda independent AI with basic protocols and a developing personality. Also to a point. Consider it a less annoying, more advanced Furby. Probably going to be a work in progress until I can get it to just the right specs, so expect some upgrades and tweaks to be needed.

[Private to Charles]

[This message is... well, it's a little harder to get going. There's a long moment of silence as Tony just sits in the lab Charles has let him run "wild" in, turning a piece of metal over and over in his hands. Finally, he lets out a breath of air and looks square at the camera]

I'm an alcoholic. And I might need some help handling it.

Comments

[megamind]

Alright, let's just clear this up. Every smurf joke you are going to make, are thinking of making, and are considering making right now? I have heard them all. All of them. They are all boring, and none of them are funny. They are the low hanging fruit of blue people jokes.

As for the inventing--I'm inventing plenty, I'm just stuck at the drawing board stage because someone gives a little headed human like you access to a lab and denies me the same! They give you a lab and me a puppy! I don't even like dogs! I built robots!

[ ...which is why they gave you a dog, Megamind. ]

[aggravating]

Alright, alright. No smurf jokes. Toss up between Blue Man Group references, Eiffel 65, and that annoying chick that turned into a blueberry.

[Also, SMIRKING] Hey, the Barge has spoken. Two robot minded people on board and, for some reason, I seem to have been deemed the best fit for the random tinkering job.

Has to be a reason I'm in here making things and you're stuck with dog walking duty. First lesson of rehabilitation; figure it out.

[C: oh this is fun]

[megamind]

At least Blue Man Group rocks. I may totally have memorabilia with my loads of stolen AC/DC and Guns n' Roses merch, among other things in the music vault but I'm digressing --

[ AHEM. You sir are a dick and he has already decided you are a new personal nemesis. ]

You know why? Because you're not an inmate. Not really. You're not actually bad. This is an intervention, or some other-- good guy on good guy thing to prevent you from being... something more useful to society.

Me? Billions upon billions in property damage over a thirty year career. Eighty-eight life sentences. My last nemesis? Finally dead. I am actually bad. You are mostly harmless. You're what they call a ghost roll --there to pad the success rate numbers because you're an easy fix.... to balance out people like me, who are actually so bad they're awesome.

[ Congratulations, Tony, you have met an ego rivaling your own. How does it feel? ]

[aggravating]

[BRING IT, BLUEBERRY.

Also stop liking AC/DC and Guns n' Roses and-- Those are his bands, damnit.]

Yeah, sorry, I can't hear you over being on first name basis with Malcom and Angus. [Is he lying? Who even knows.]

See, not really insulted by that. Cape killing isn't really my thing? I'm more on the side of being America's first choice in dealing with terrorists and would-be supervillains. Like you. I probably could have you behind bars in like, five minutes. If I was feeling generous.

[Sorry bro you have nothing on the alien rock opera of daddy issues.]

[megamind]

[ He's done just as many awesome entrances to them as you have, Tony, learn to share. ]

Maybe in your world. I held one of their concerts hostage once. It was great. They were actually really cool about it... [ But he's disgressing, whatever... ]

And I'd be out in under a day, concocting another plot to bring the city to it's knees. So-- what's your schtick?

[ He still hasn't put together Tony = Iron Man. This will be a glorious moment when he does. ]

[aggravating]

[Once again, dude? Get your own theme band.]

Yeah, see, if you hold bands like AC/DC hostage? You're not a true fan. [In other words? Totally not believing you, bro]

Considering police detail isn't really my thing, not personally insulted by that. [His lips twitch into a slight smirk, though] I'm a part of this, uh, group. The Avengers? We're mostly all here. Guy with a shield and a hard on for freedom, crazy redheaded spy, guy who has a habit of making nests out of arrows, jolly green kick your ass giant? I'm the cool one of the group. [g r i n] Iron Man.

[megamind]

Oh! Oh you're the guy who made the little robots! I made a bigger one out of them.

[ Oh now Megamind doesn't care about AC/DC, he care about robots. ]

They needed a better soudntrack though, okay. Obviously I made some improvements, but the admiral took the bigbot away.