Tony Stark (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
aggravating) wrote2012-12-23 05:50 pm
aggravating) wrote2012-12-23 05:50 pm
19th Command; Private Texts
[Private Text to Pepper/December 22]
Clos Maggiore. 6:30. Bring your wallet, you get to be the obnoxiously rich one this time.
[Private to the Admiral]
First of all, just a thank you for shoving holiday cheer down our throats for the past few weeks. Pro tip for next year, though. It just isn't the holidays until there's crappy Christmas songs playing at all hours of the day and night. Might wanna look into that.
So. Gifts. Since I'm pretty sure I'd be labeled the barge Grinch if I don't give into peer pressure and unlike Banner, green and I don't go well together.
Bruce gets pants. Basic colors, basic fit. Just make them from something that'll stretch and shrink with rapid change in muscle mass.
Actually, throw in a second gift to Big Green, too. Hulk strength resistant furniture in Bruce's room, so the guy doesn't have to worry about lying down and breaking the bed. And hey, if you're feeling generous - and, I mean, considering you torture us at every given moment, you kind of owe us all a little bit of generosity - maybe give the big guy a room of his own to let off some steam in. Pretty sure the ship has a few extra rooms lying around, shouldn't be too hard to do.
Hawkeye gets one of those duck shooting games. You know, the kind with the moving targets and a bb gun. Just make the movements faster and a little more complex. Also, instead of ducks? Put Loki.
Natasha needs a bed. I don't care if she's a creepy spy who probably sleeps on rocks while in the field, what she has now in her room? That's not a bed. I slept on better while in that cave and that's just sad. Give her a bed and put the thing I've been working on next to it.
Give Steve a gym in his room. I don't care how, just. Put it in the back of his movie set apartment, reinforce the sandbags so he doesn't break them every five minutes. I'm getting sick and tired of having to deal with muscles in my face every time I wander to the one everyone has to share.
On that note, give Peggy boxing gloves.
Charles gets a DVD player and a stack of movies. Go from the sixties to modern time, anything that more than a hundred people and two countries know about. Classics and popular series are a must.
Also, get him a turban and a crystal ball.
Give Shark Guy a copy of Schindler's Ark and Schindler's List, as well as the things written by survivors of the camps about the movie and what it inspired them to do for others. Slap on a trigger warning and the offer of a free punch if it ends up being an asshole move.
Steph gets a bat stuffed animal and a book on diseases they carry, as well as coupons to whatever therapist is around where she comes from.
Actually, give that book to the rest of the bat brood.
Dean gets model cars. Not the cheap kind, the good ones. Muscle cars. The good, old, traditional ones. He seems like the kind of guy to enjoy shit like that.
Give Jesse a toy of that pink pony creep and a note that says I told you so.
Kozak gets a chew toy. ... Throw in a karaoke machine, too.
For Perry just send this update to his gimp bot.
Give Toxic Tara a bikini and a few DVDs of pro mud wrestling.
Ariadne gets art supplies. Replace everything I trashed and... give her a favor, too. A letter or cliche coupon or something.
Everyone else I talk to on a semi-regular basis gets an Iron Man coffee mug and an offer for a small gadget of their choice. Get signed permission from wardens for the semi-insane ones.
And Pepper... just give her something she wants. [God knows he'll end up messing it up if he asks for something specific]
Clos Maggiore. 6:30. Bring your wallet, you get to be the obnoxiously rich one this time.
[Private to the Admiral]
First of all, just a thank you for shoving holiday cheer down our throats for the past few weeks. Pro tip for next year, though. It just isn't the holidays until there's crappy Christmas songs playing at all hours of the day and night. Might wanna look into that.
So. Gifts. Since I'm pretty sure I'd be labeled the barge Grinch if I don't give into peer pressure and unlike Banner, green and I don't go well together.
Bruce gets pants. Basic colors, basic fit. Just make them from something that'll stretch and shrink with rapid change in muscle mass.
Actually, throw in a second gift to Big Green, too. Hulk strength resistant furniture in Bruce's room, so the guy doesn't have to worry about lying down and breaking the bed. And hey, if you're feeling generous - and, I mean, considering you torture us at every given moment, you kind of owe us all a little bit of generosity - maybe give the big guy a room of his own to let off some steam in. Pretty sure the ship has a few extra rooms lying around, shouldn't be too hard to do.
Hawkeye gets one of those duck shooting games. You know, the kind with the moving targets and a bb gun. Just make the movements faster and a little more complex. Also, instead of ducks? Put Loki.
Natasha needs a bed. I don't care if she's a creepy spy who probably sleeps on rocks while in the field, what she has now in her room? That's not a bed. I slept on better while in that cave and that's just sad. Give her a bed and put the thing I've been working on next to it.
Give Steve a gym in his room. I don't care how, just. Put it in the back of his movie set apartment, reinforce the sandbags so he doesn't break them every five minutes. I'm getting sick and tired of having to deal with muscles in my face every time I wander to the one everyone has to share.
On that note, give Peggy boxing gloves.
Charles gets a DVD player and a stack of movies. Go from the sixties to modern time, anything that more than a hundred people and two countries know about. Classics and popular series are a must.
Also, get him a turban and a crystal ball.
Give Shark Guy a copy of Schindler's Ark and Schindler's List, as well as the things written by survivors of the camps about the movie and what it inspired them to do for others. Slap on a trigger warning and the offer of a free punch if it ends up being an asshole move.
Steph gets a bat stuffed animal and a book on diseases they carry, as well as coupons to whatever therapist is around where she comes from.
Actually, give that book to the rest of the bat brood.
Dean gets model cars. Not the cheap kind, the good ones. Muscle cars. The good, old, traditional ones. He seems like the kind of guy to enjoy shit like that.
Give Jesse a toy of that pink pony creep and a note that says I told you so.
Kozak gets a chew toy. ... Throw in a karaoke machine, too.
For Perry just send this update to his gimp bot.
Give Toxic Tara a bikini and a few DVDs of pro mud wrestling.
Ariadne gets art supplies. Replace everything I trashed and... give her a favor, too. A letter or cliche coupon or something.
Everyone else I talk to on a semi-regular basis gets an Iron Man coffee mug and an offer for a small gadget of their choice. Get signed permission from wardens for the semi-insane ones.
And Pepper... just give her something she wants. [God knows he'll end up messing it up if he asks for something specific]
text;
Christmas occasion?
text;
A bus, Pepper.
PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION.]
It's Christmas? [Hurr] Yeah, see, last time we were going to have dinner we were interrupted by an alien invasion and your annoying need to be in DC.
You owe me a date.
text;
I owe you a date. Really.
I owe you something, but if you want a date, I won't oblige.
[Yeah, like she's never not going to follow through on her own promise. Whatever.]
text;
Actually, I can compromise with twelve.
Twelve dates. Because you, Pepper Potts, left at a really inconvenient time without filing for any sort of vacation leave.
[Oh hey, who's that sharply dressed man stepping off of a public bus just a ways from the restaurant?
Yup. Tony Stark, that's who. And look! He's only like, twenty minutes late. It's practically a record.]
text -> action
At least he's her asshole. And yes, she is rather surprised to see a fine-ass Tony Stark step off public transit of all things. She suddenly feels underdressed. Sure, she's wearing a nice little cocktail dress- but it's leaning more towards business professional than 'dinner out'. Whatever. She can just call it a work date and move on.]
You're early. [TEASING. Only not.]
action
Friction burns were a pain and a half to explain to his tailors.
Either way, he's shaking off the whole bus thing easily enough, walking up to Pepper with his eyebrows raised and a grin on his face that's an aggravating mix of a smile and a smirk. You know, the classic Tony Stark model.]
Huh. Am I? [Hey look, he's being a good date, resting a hand on her arm and leaning in for a quick peck on the cheek before moving his hand down to the small of her back, not so subtly pushing her towards the restaurant.
Er.
I mean.
Escorting her? Like a good date?????] Yeah I was debating circling a few more times but the homeless guy a few seats over looked like he was about to rip my pants off.