20th Command; Voice

[aggravating]

[CLICK goes the communicator, right in what appears to be the middle of a conversation.]

I need, and I know you said you weren’t going to again, but all I need is a few minutes, Pepper. In and out.

Yes, I’ve already said, so why is this coming up again? Can’t you just ask Charles?

Yeah, uh, Madame X has hands like a football player. Don’t really want those inside me. You, on the other hand, have dainty, perfectly shaped hands and I know you already know what to do. It’s a comfort thing.

A comfort thing. No, this isn’t a comfort thing, this is a you don’t want someone more capable, because the last time I did this I nearly stopped your heart. Why- Why do you-- Why is your- Tony, your comm is blinking, why is it- Is it on?

It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Just keep going, slow and steady. You’re doing great, Pepper. That- yeah, that one. Right there. [He sounds a little tense, a little more out of breath with every word] Oh god- I forgot the smell--

Pepper.

I can’t-- Okay what am I doing here, what is it you want? Specifics. Please. [She sounds just as strained, just as uncomfortably tense.]

Feel around. For what? Irregularities. There aren’t any-- Oh, there’s- just, there’s a thing here--

Like a- this? Yeah, just-- Is that- I don’t know, is this deep enough? Is it-- Wait, here? Just push it. There should be a-- you’ll feel it.

[There’s another noise, something like a whine or a keen.]

Yes, Pepper. That-- [He breaks off with a yelp of... some sort.] Oh god, are you hurt? I’m sorry- Should I just-- [There’s another sound now. Something ... slick.] No. No, no, no. You’re fine. That was great, you’re doing great.

Yeah? You’re okay? You’re sure? Because I can stop if you’re--

I’m fine. Fabulous. Never been bet-- okay, that-- don’t stop, you feel that right there? This? Yes. It’s a little too far up, can you just--

[There’s a moment of silence, broken only by that same slick... sliding sound from before, until Tony suddenly yelps again and Pepper echoes the noise, one - or maybe both - of them knocking into the table the communicator is on, sending it clattering to the floor and turning itself off. Thankfully - or not - cutting this awkward exchange short.]


[NOTE:
Pepper is blue.
Tony is red.
And both will be responding and interjecting c:]

Comments

[wedonot]

[Madame X is very unfazed, tyvm.]

Hands like a football player?

permavoice;

[aggravating]

[... Well. Crap. Was that recording?

Also ignore the fact that he's still a little out of breath. Life's hard bro.]

Mmm, not my best. I was a little distracted.

permavoice;

[wedonot]

[It's okay, Charles is very not judgmental!]

I noticed. What were you doing?

[aggravating]

[And Tony had absolutely no sense of shame! Which... may or may not make for a bad combination, here.]

Yeah, that's-- private stuff.

[... Yeah he's just making it worse, now.]

[wedonot]

Is something wrong with your arc reactor?

LOCKED like a locking thing

[aggravating]

[Welp switching to a private feed now. Stop ruining his bad image illusion.]

Routine maintenance. Suit got hit with lightning last time I was home, shorted a wire I... probably shouldn't have tried to replace myself.

[Reaching into your own chest isn't easy, after all.]

LOCKED

[wedonot]

[Charles is a fun sucker, it's true. He's a mom, what did you expect. B(]

Well, as long as you're alright.

private audio;

[honeyimhome]

I'm sorry. [Wall, meet face.] He doesn't mean it.

private audio;

[wedonot]

It's fine, I've learned not to take these things personally. [It's a million times better than speedwheeler jokes. B(]

private audio;

[honeyimhome]

Right.

[Well yes. She knows this. But it doesn't stop her from trying to apologize for him. And what are you talking about, speedwheeler is so much better. 8|]

[darknessb4me]

It is, in fact, on.

permavoice!

[aggravating]

[... Well. That's unfortunate.

Time to try to play this off?]

Huh. Well, not the worst thing I've ended up broadcasting.

[darknessb4me]

It's close.

[honeyimhome]

I would beg to differ.

[Sobbing b/c wow Tony, she told you it was on.]

[ichoosefight]

Did you do that on purpose?

[ She is snickering. Totally maturely. ]

[honeyimhome]

If he did... I can assure you, it won't happen again.

[ichoosefight]

The last time he got bored he sent out singing robots to all the people he wanted to piss off. This is actually an improvement.

[honeyimhome]

That, all things considered, sounds a lot more likely than this happening again.

[And that would be with or without her influence, too.]

[ichoosefight]

And here I was thinking he'd learned his lesson. I swear I thought he was going to get himself killed.

[love_slave]

Tony, are you going to be okay? [She's having flashbacks to Stan being shot in the heart before coming here. Don't mind her. But she has to trust that he knows what he's doing.]

/Stalking

[with_my_teacup]

[On this channel, the occasional soft cup-and-plate-and-sip sounds of someone drinking tea; Tony and Pepper have a politely listening audience.]

[thestarspangledman]

[He's just ...quiet, for a very long moment, listening intently to the conversation.]

Do I want to know what's going on?

audio;

[honeyimhome]

[sgfnjk STEEB.]

I was checking for damage in the lining of his arc reactor- nothing else. [Oh my god.]

audio;

[thestarspangledman]

Oh. [All business, now, sounding slightly cautious -- (is that a hint of worry?)] Is everything okay?

audio;

[honeyimhome]

[sjfgk No, Cap, stahp.]

Yeah, yes. I think so. It seemed alright.

[She popped back in whatever was out of place. She hopes.]

/keywords

[sharpsuitfluffytail]

What... did I just listen to.

[Tony you're breaking your not!bro's brain over here.]

snjkg the quietest audio;

[honeyimhome]

[Pls, Kozak. Pls.]

... The sound of my dignity. Disintigrating.

[sharpsuitfluffytail]

It certainly seems that way.

[And then he reads other comments.]

Do you need help with the arc reactor? A second pair of hands or... something?

[honeyimhome]

[Head in hands is her current status. Thankfully post hand washing.]

I think it's alright. There was- he just wanted to check. There'd been a fight before his coming here and I guess he was worried something overloaded or ... something.

[fearthepackingchips]

[....oh. His. Various. Gods. This is like watching all of that REALLY BAD fandom porn with a broken computer screen. What even is it. Their video may be off but his isn't, meaning anyone looking over at the screen right now gets a WONDERFUL view of Deadpool tilting his head and trying to decide if it's ACTUALLY what it sounds like or just a similarity thing.]

Oh, you crazy kids. You get into the tentacle porn again? I told you it was a bad idea; no matter how fun it might sound somebody always ends up with suckers in all the wrong places.

Or is this the one with office supplies?

[honeyimhome]

[WOW RUDE, NO. GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM, DP.]

It's not going to help if I deny anything, will it?

[Because this is ridiculous. Obviously it isn't the case, but proof? Well, she's got goo covering her hands. He's childish and really, Pepper hates dealing with annoying children. Tony is the exception, and even then, just barely.

At least she gets paid to deal with him. Not like she loves him or anything.]

[fearthepackingchips]

Nah, probably not. But I am more than happy to listen to any and all objections and explanations with a mostly impartial mind.

You're totally imagining them swimming in sushi right now, aren't you.

Heck yes. Aren't you?

[...wait.]

[deadliestviper]

No one wants to listen to you guys fisting each other.

audio;

[honeyimhome]

[WOW NO HAHA, UM.]

Not-- No. That was- [sfnjks] Arc reactor. [What are words.]

audio;

[aggravating]

Ruining the illusion, Pepper. [ C: ]

audio;

[honeyimhome]

What illusion are you hoping to imply, dear?

[Do you hear it, Tony? Do you hear that saccharin sweet tone of voice? Because hey, imply what you want about yourself. Don't you dare drag her into it.]

[aggravating]

Yeah uh, don't knock what you haven't tried.

[He's dead already, might as well go out with style.]

[deadliestviper]

Have you ever tried privacy?

action;

[honeyimhome]

[sdnfkjsngking at you, Tony. And making radical gestures because her hands are still slimy and she can't go and grab something solid and hit him over the head with it.]

It was on, I told you! [Argh! Do you want to be slapped with you're own internal discharge? Because it's seriously seconds away from happening.]

[private; pepper and tony]

[lastincident]

Are you two alright?

Also, I could have cleared a sterile space in the infirmary for you two to do this in, you know.

[ He knows what that was, he's not an idiot. ]

[private; pepper and tony]

[honeyimhome]

Fine.

[Can you hear the smile, chewed out by clenched teeth, Bruce? Can you?]

That would have been nice, actually. [Damn her own tiny hands.]

[private; pepper and tony]

[lastincident]

[ He can. Which is why he deadpan quips: ]

Can't provide mood music and romantic lighting, though.

[ Yes he knows how Tony wants to spin it. That's fine. He can have a little laugh, right? Somebody that isn't Banner needs to be having a good time with a lady. ]