9th Command; Voice - backdated to Thursday the 12th

[aggravating]

[Compared to his last little blow-up to the network? Today's message is nice and short and sweet and to the point. Well, as to-the-point as Tony Stark can ever be.]

Are there any teleportation pads on this space-tionwagon or am I just missing something here?

Why the hell do we have simulated environments, dimensional jumps, and aliens that would make George Lucas wet himself... but we don't have floor to floor transportation pads?

And for the record, everything I've ever said about stairs I am redacting and revising. They suck.

[Filtered to Maintenance/The labs]
Who wants to be my babysitter or just let me in to do my thing? I need to outfit a wheelchair with a jet-pack in the next two hours or else I cannot and will not be held responsible for whatever homicidal, frustration-based rage I go into.

[Spam For the Deck]
[Because every new invention needs a road test, right? And Tony is kind of known for his need for speed.

So uh, if you ever wanted to see one Tony Stark zoom past you in a repulsor powered wheelchair? This would kind of be your chance.]

Comments

[doctor_j_crane]

Stairs. Truly, the barge is a nightmarish hellhole.

[aggravating]

I'm just saying. Multidimensional space ship. Electronics running on paperclips and string.

Can we just have one useful and cool thing?

[doctor_j_crane]

This is a prison, not a science show. You're going to have to cope.

[aggravating]

Pretty crappy prison, so far.

[doctor_j_crane]

Yes. Some wardens seem to think that it's some kind of resort.

[aggravating]

I'm still half convinced something's being put in the food. I mean, vampires? Zombies? Complete identity crises?

[doctor_j_crane]

I used to think that something was being put in the water. I'm still not entirely sure that I was incorrect.

[aggravating]

You get a biologist on it, yet? Because if not, I'll do a cram session and test everything.

[doctor_j_crane]

I did some testing on the water, but couldn't detect anything. Feel free to do your own testing. It couldn't hurt.

[aggravating]

Not a biologist. Or a chemist. But I dabble when I need to.

[He's chewing on the inside of his cheek, thinking]

I'll take a look once I find a forensics crash course.

[doctor_j_crane]

Feel free to dabble. If there's anything that would make you a hero for the people around here, it's working out a way to prevent floods.

There may be a book in the library. I'm afraid that the barge doesn't have any databases on the topic that I know of.