17th Command; video

[aggravating]

This again? [He's so not amused. You see how not amused he is? This is A+ levels of not. Fucking. Amused..] Alright, I'll bite. Let's see who knows me.

This is Tony Stark. Yes the Tony Stark. Iron Man, eccentric billionaire, genius inventor. Let's chat.

[... Wait. Shit he almost forgot.

A look of something that can only be described as pure, creeped out discomfort pulls at his face as he leans forward, about to turn off the feed.]

And if you're a psycho pink pony? Yeah. No. Go creep on someone else.

[Not today, Pinkmania. Not. Today.]

Comments

[secondtofury]

[She was going to say something, to ask why he was transmitting this... But she got a little distracted.]

Psycho pink pony?

SO VERY PUBLIC.

[pinkpartypony]

[There's just THIS MUSIC.

And then This. And then...an adorable voice that sounds like something out of a children's video as the last song plays.]

One bright day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back-to-back they faced one another,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

One was blind and the other couldn't see,

So they chose a dummy for a referee.

A blind man went to see fair play,

A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A deaf policeman heard the noise,

And came and shot the two dead boys.

A paralyzed donkey walking by,

Kicked the copper in the eye,

Sent him through a nine inch wall,

Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.

(If you don't believe this lie is true,

Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)


[And then, cackling, high childish laughter...and nothing. And no further responses will be had. She listens Tony but she had to say hello.

Ed note: You legit may not want to listen to the music unless you're all brave.]

[fearthepackingchips]

...Psycho pink ponies? WHERE?!?

Come on, Deadpool ol' buddy, keep your cool.

In all seriousness though. You guys all look...well no, actually, you look pretty close, I take that back. As you were.

[trashcompactor]

[THERE'S A ROBOT ON THE FEED TONY.

He's all by himself staring at you. Starreee]

Waalllll-EEEE?

[itsalive]

[Eyes go wide and Tony, have a view of a black and white laboratory and a pair of voices and the ugliest kid ever seen -]

Victor! Victor there's something on the TV!

[The ugly boy with the hump runs off and in his place is a thin pale black and white boy...in a lab coat.] ...I see it Edgar, be quiet. We don't know what it is.

[There's a loud Bark! off screen and the boy adjusts his very large goggles]

...H...hello?

[goingonfacebook]

The Tony Stark, wow. I might be more impressed if I hadn't seen a thunder god make breakfast in Jane's lab. But still impressed, for the record!

[ grin ] I mean, you're wicked smart, you make awesome technogadgets that I can't afford, and you are smokin'.

[marktwo]

[Psycho. Pink. Pony. What.] Tony? What the hell? Are you testing something?

[inebriety]

[Tilting his head before smiling widely (and drunkenly).]

I'm Tony Stark too. Let me guess, dimensional travel? [He hums.] Ah, it's been a while since my last trip.

[bumblebeeb]

Genius inventor, huh? Gotta say, I wouldn't include that as part of my intro, but it's nice to meet a fellow tinkerer.

Video.

[some_kinda_hero]

How's my favourite philanthropist?

[bigdickplaya]

[This is exactly the thing that he feared would happen.] Shit on a cracker. You got the script, you read the script.

...I am so glad you got the script Kirk but we pulled the fucking working title. Yes I know, I will personally present you the fucking writers so that you can tear them a brand new asshole. Two months in advance so you could begin working on your degree in engineering for the guy.

[He is almost sorry, though still foul mouthed as ever] .

I want to knock bale and fucking "rat man" on their asses so damn fast the Limey fuck gets a fucking headache. Titles changed it's not "Iron Man" anymore it's "Metal Man"

As I said Kirk, the writers will be presented to you. I don't care how many legions of pimple faced ass kissing fat chick fucking nerds he has sucking him off, Stan Lee will pay. I'm sorry, I cannot apologize enough I know how deep you like to go into the roles.

let's do lunch and talk about it.

[yeahscience]

...Holy shit, yo. I totally thought you were making that psycho pony shit up.

[mordantwit]

[Have a wryly amused Xavier, Tony!]

I'm glad to see you remain modest.

[Private]

[persuadeyou]

Hill. [Okay this is kind of a relief, she's mostly quietly been spying on the network, but she didn't expect to actually find someone from home.]

What's going on at base?

[earpiece]

I'm sorry, Mr. Stark.

We'll call off the pink pony party SHIELD was planning on throwing in your honor.

[aggravating]

[As much as he never wants to admit this ever, it's actually kind of good to hear you, Hill.]

Yeah. It's a thing. Almost right up SHIELD's alley, if you can get her to not skin you for saddles and make creepy meat-muffins from the rest.

[See the sad thing is he's not even kidding.

Which is why he's not the least bit afraid of coming off as completely insane. It's just that creepy.]

[aggravating]

[YEAH NOPE.

NOT RESPONDING.

NOT EVEN TO FLIP OFF A PONY.

HE'S LEARNED HIS LESSON.]

[aggravating]

Yeah, uh. Psychotic, human eating ponies aren't exactly things you can just. Make up.

[HE TOLD YOU, DAMNIT]

[aggravating]

[.... dude you sound way too excited about that]

Try the response before yours. Creepy music, high-pitched voice, nonsense poem. [That last bit is interesting, though.]

No, back up. Pretty close to what?

[fearthepackingchips]

[He sounds exactly as excited as he should be, don't judge him, mister "my actor IS me minus the functional suit".]

That's beautiful. I wanna talk to the creepy pony... HI CREEPY PONY do you know Deathtrap?

The billionaire asked us a question. We should probably answer him.

Right. Probably. Thanks.

Close to your inky counterpart! Most of 'em it's just like. Did you even read the stuff? Geez.

...except Black Widow. Scar Jo can stab me in the back any day. Hubba hubba.

[Private]

[secondtofury]

Agent Romanoff.

Cleaning up after the latest mess. Thankfully nothing too pressing otherwise, nothing we can't handle.

[secondtofury]

[Careful now, Stark. She might have to wonder if you're sick or something.]

.... I really hope you're joking.

[Except somehow? She knows you're not... Even if you do sound absolutely insane right now, she knows better than to underestimate you.]

[silver_tongue]

Mr. Stark. I had wondered when I might see you.

[yeahscience]

The tweakers I know, yeah, they definitely can.

...doesn't make the reality any less creepy as shit, though.

[Private]

[persuadeyou]

[Still ahead of her then; Natasha sticks to voice so she doesn't have to explain why her hair is long.]

Sounds like business as usual.