17th Command; video

[aggravating]

This again? [He's so not amused. You see how not amused he is? This is A+ levels of not. Fucking. Amused..] Alright, I'll bite. Let's see who knows me.

This is Tony Stark. Yes the Tony Stark. Iron Man, eccentric billionaire, genius inventor. Let's chat.

[... Wait. Shit he almost forgot.

A look of something that can only be described as pure, creeped out discomfort pulls at his face as he leans forward, about to turn off the feed.]

And if you're a psycho pink pony? Yeah. No. Go creep on someone else.

[Not today, Pinkmania. Not. Today.]

Comments

[secondtofury]

[She was going to say something, to ask why he was transmitting this... But she got a little distracted.]

Psycho pink pony?

[Private]

[persuadeyou]

Hill. [Okay this is kind of a relief, she's mostly quietly been spying on the network, but she didn't expect to actually find someone from home.]

What's going on at base?

[aggravating]

[As much as he never wants to admit this ever, it's actually kind of good to hear you, Hill.]

Yeah. It's a thing. Almost right up SHIELD's alley, if you can get her to not skin you for saddles and make creepy meat-muffins from the rest.

[See the sad thing is he's not even kidding.

Which is why he's not the least bit afraid of coming off as completely insane. It's just that creepy.]

SO VERY PUBLIC.

[pinkpartypony]

[There's just THIS MUSIC.

And then This. And then...an adorable voice that sounds like something out of a children's video as the last song plays.]

One bright day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back-to-back they faced one another,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

One was blind and the other couldn't see,

So they chose a dummy for a referee.

A blind man went to see fair play,

A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A deaf policeman heard the noise,

And came and shot the two dead boys.

A paralyzed donkey walking by,

Kicked the copper in the eye,

Sent him through a nine inch wall,

Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.

(If you don't believe this lie is true,

Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)


[And then, cackling, high childish laughter...and nothing. And no further responses will be had. She listens Tony but she had to say hello.

Ed note: You legit may not want to listen to the music unless you're all brave.]

[yeahscience]

...Holy shit, yo. I totally thought you were making that psycho pony shit up.

[aggravating]

[YEAH NOPE.

NOT RESPONDING.

NOT EVEN TO FLIP OFF A PONY.

HE'S LEARNED HIS LESSON.]

[fearthepackingchips]

...Psycho pink ponies? WHERE?!?

Come on, Deadpool ol' buddy, keep your cool.

In all seriousness though. You guys all look...well no, actually, you look pretty close, I take that back. As you were.

[aggravating]

[.... dude you sound way too excited about that]

Try the response before yours. Creepy music, high-pitched voice, nonsense poem. [That last bit is interesting, though.]

No, back up. Pretty close to what?

[trashcompactor]

[THERE'S A ROBOT ON THE FEED TONY.

He's all by himself staring at you. Starreee]

Waalllll-EEEE?

[aggravating]

[DOT

DOT

DOT]

Uh, no. [He's jabbing a finger at himself and speaking really slowly] Tooooooooooooony.

[itsalive]

[Eyes go wide and Tony, have a view of a black and white laboratory and a pair of voices and the ugliest kid ever seen -]

Victor! Victor there's something on the TV!

[The ugly boy with the hump runs off and in his place is a thin pale black and white boy...in a lab coat.] ...I see it Edgar, be quiet. We don't know what it is.

[There's a loud Bark! off screen and the boy adjusts his very large goggles]

...H...hello?

[aggravating]

[Wow, okay. Yeah, that face is unfortunate. If Tony had ever doubted the benefit of plastic surgery, this kid's... uh... looks had him wanting to start up a charity for the naturally ugly.]

Hi. [Okay, move weird goggle kid, Tony wants to get a better look at that weird lab of yours.] Welcome to the multiverse, kid. Scientist, right?

[The only question is what the hell is this kid doing with all that stuff]

[goingonfacebook]

The Tony Stark, wow. I might be more impressed if I hadn't seen a thunder god make breakfast in Jane's lab. But still impressed, for the record!

[ grin ] I mean, you're wicked smart, you make awesome technogadgets that I can't afford, and you are smokin'.

[aggravating]

You know Thor? [Okay, actually? More importantly, you know him and that is more than enough to have Tony perking up a bit.] Name and address and I will send you a convertible full of Stark Tech as soon as I'm off the Good Ship Lollipop.

[This is why stoking the egos of billionaires is to be encouraged.]

[marktwo]

[Psycho. Pink. Pony. What.] Tony? What the hell? Are you testing something?

[aggravating]

[It's the truth okay, don't judge him]

... Huh. [Okay, of all the people he thought would be checking the frequencies and maybe poking their heads in? Rhodey was not one of them.

Then again, maybe he should have expected it. Rhodey did always answer when Tony called.]

Yeah. [And then the momentary shock is fading away, a shit-eating grin taking its place. Damn it's good to hear from him] Yeah, testing. It's an experiment in dimensional travel to a giant therapy ship and how long it'll take until I just jump off the edge and hope I float back to Earth.

So far we're going on six months.

[inebriety]

[Tilting his head before smiling widely (and drunkenly).]

I'm Tony Stark too. Let me guess, dimensional travel? [He hums.] Ah, it's been a while since my last trip.

[aggravating]

[Okay, not cool dude. Stealing his facial hair and his name? Not cool at all.]

Yeah, kind of stuck on a ship in the middle of some multiverse meeting point. [He quirks an eyebrow] Meeting myself's a first. Not asking for socials but, you know, not really something that's easy to wrap your mind around.

Are you the Tony Stark or just a Tony Stark?

[bumblebeeb]

Genius inventor, huh? Gotta say, I wouldn't include that as part of my intro, but it's nice to meet a fellow tinkerer.

[aggravating]

When you reach my level [of narcissism] you can't introduce yourself accurately without it.

Name and what you considering tinkering.

Video.

[some_kinda_hero]

How's my favourite philanthropist?

Video.

[aggravating]

[Hey you're the... blonde chick Tony met when he first showed up here. HE REMEMBERS YOU. You were cool, Claire.]

Still on the hell barge. [Have a shrug] And all the fun that brings.

How's not being tortured with bad steering?

[bigdickplaya]

[This is exactly the thing that he feared would happen.] Shit on a cracker. You got the script, you read the script.

...I am so glad you got the script Kirk but we pulled the fucking working title. Yes I know, I will personally present you the fucking writers so that you can tear them a brand new asshole. Two months in advance so you could begin working on your degree in engineering for the guy.

[He is almost sorry, though still foul mouthed as ever] .

I want to knock bale and fucking "rat man" on their asses so damn fast the Limey fuck gets a fucking headache. Titles changed it's not "Iron Man" anymore it's "Metal Man"

As I said Kirk, the writers will be presented to you. I don't care how many legions of pimple faced ass kissing fat chick fucking nerds he has sucking him off, Stan Lee will pay. I'm sorry, I cannot apologize enough I know how deep you like to go into the roles.

let's do lunch and talk about it.

[mordantwit]

[Have a wryly amused Xavier, Tony!]

I'm glad to see you remain modest.

[aggravating]

[This is the meeting Tony never knew he wanted]

Not sure stating facts counts as bragging.

[earpiece]

I'm sorry, Mr. Stark.

We'll call off the pink pony party SHIELD was planning on throwing in your honor.

[aggravating]

[Hardy har har Couls-

Oh.

Coulson. That- uh. Last time he saw you he was offering a flight to Portland, and after that... nothing but blood smeared across a wall, soaking into vintage cards thrown down in front of Captain America.

He can do this.]

Yeah, see, two problems there. One; I'm pretty sure Fury's working on a petition to get the word 'party' burned out of every dictionary on Earth. Two; if I see even one picture of a psychotic pony when I get home? I'm hacking SHIELD and changing everyone's names to things like Commander Bubblegum for the rest of the year.

[silver_tongue]

Mr. Stark. I had wondered when I might see you.

[aggravating]

[Yeah, hi. He was hoping to avoid having to talk to you for a while longer, Rudolph.]

I've been around. [aka ignoring you and watching the general Avengers scramble everyone did when you showed up again] I'm making a point of avoiding talking to psychopaths with daddy issues.

[Tony. Tony, no.]




[ooc| SOB I'M SORRY HIATUS KNOCKED ME OUT OF COMMISSION MORE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD ;A;]

[protoiron]

Hello.

I hope you took my last words seriously-

I am joking. How are you?

private;

[aggravating]

[Okay, he's gotten Hill, Coulson, and Rhodey. He was pretty much prepared for anything.

Yinsen though? He's not just anything.

Which might be why the grin Tony's trying to give the man is a little tighter than the ones he's been giving everyone else. Tighter and definitely faltering. At the very least? He has enough sense to lock the conversation.]

I've tried. [There we go, the smile's a little easier this time] Saved New York from a nuclear missile a few months ago.